This weekend, as I watched “The Real Housewives,” (Oh, c’mon! Don’t tell me you don’t watch it!!) I started thinking about how women treat each other. Seeing these women interact gave me such anxiety that I wanted to turn it off and take a shower. But I couldn’t. I was glued to the TV. It was like watching animals fornicate at the zoo. Seriously! You really don’t want to watch, but you can’t help yourself. But I couldn’t help but think—Why do women treat each other with such disrespect?
Men treat each other with respect. While men egg each other on and pat each other on the back, women throw eggs at each other and stab each other in the back. Where’s our camaraderie?
In the recent past, the ratio of men to women on any given television writing staff was about 10:2. And that was most likely because one of the women was a minority, meaning her salary was paid for by the Studio. “You mean we can hired a Latina and check off the minority and woman box?! Perfect!” Now, this is changing and I’ve seen more women being hired for their talent – CRAZY! – and not just to fill a quota, but the truth is, for years in the entertainment industry women were considered untalented and “not funny.” I actually worked for someone who said outright in a writer’s room where women were present – (the required 2.5 – one being an assistant) — that women can’t be funny and good-looking. Not mentioning any names, but this little man could have (and has been) compared to a troll – so I guess his theory could work for men too.
And believe it or not, it’s been worse: I heard Jane Curtin tell Oprah how John Belushi used to literally sabotage sketches on Saturday Night Live that were written by women by intentionally performing them poorly at the table read. This way, the sketches were sure to be thrown out. Unbelievable—to most people. But not to me. I’ve experienced this type of treatment. I’m not bitter… I swear, dammit!
My point in telling you all this is because I feel that in my experience, the “system” has taught women that there are few jobs available for us and therefore we need to fight dirty to get them. This system was set up long ago by men who were afraid we’d steal their jobs. (No, not ALL men feel this way, I’m not saying that. There are a lot of great men out there and we love you!) Women bought into this theory of scarcity and instead of lending a hand and supporting each other to the top, we pushed, scratched and pulled each other’s hair to keep each other down. (A cat fight? Hmmm… Every man’s fantasy?!)
I’ve actually heard women say “Oh, SHE only got that job (or started that business, or got promoted) because her husband (funded it, supported her, got her the job).” Or the other explanation I love is: “Who’d SHE sleep with?” Even when we do succeed, somehow our successes are still credited to men. It certainly couldn’t have been her talent and hard work that made her successful. What is it with this negativity, ladies? Really? We’re only hurting ourselves with such condescending attitudes toward each other. And the men out there who are still trying to hold us back LOVE IT! They’ll just let us fight it out, sabotage each other – and steal the prize when we’re not paying attention.
It’s time to WAKE UP!!!!!
It’s time for us women to bond together and support one another. It’s time for us to get on the same menstrual cycle, raise our tampon-laden hands and free ourselves from the masculine chains that bound us for so many years. (Now, that’s an image!) Only we can make this change. There’s no reason to compete anymore. There’s enough room for all of our talents.
Most importantly – the world needs us now. As everyone can see, the world is in crisis. With our economic system breaking down, natural disasters happening faster than we can keep up, revolutions in the Mid-East – the world needs our innate nurturing to begin the healing process. Our loving, nurturing energy is what can change the world for the better. So, instead of channeling our energy into negative emotions like jealousy and competitiveness, I challenge all of us to come together in LOVE and SUPPORT of each other. If not for our own personal empowerment, for the love of our divine mother Earth. What do you say we start owning our power and start acting like self-respecting ladies? I’m in!
Just for fun: let’s all take a moment to support at least one woman in achieving her dream this week. Remember: the energy you put out comes back ten-fold. So keep putting out the loving supportive vibes and see what happens!
With Love, For the highest good…
xo, Christy Jacobs