Before we are born, our soul knows why it’s coming to Earth and what lessons it’s supposed to learn.  We know we come from God (Source Energy, The Light, Spirit, The Universe—whatever term feels best for you.)  We are in fact part of God, as God is in all of us.  We come from the light, which is love.  We are love.  We descend down to Earth on our Birthday and take on our human form.  In this first step, we are the light.  We are the closest to God that we can be and are truly operating without “Ego.”  If only we could speak!  Oh, the things we could tell our parents and the world!  But, we can’t.  So we’re at the mercy of our parents, who do the best they can with the knowledge that they have gained on Earth…

Which leads me to the next step: our first introduction to “The Ego.”  It’s inevitable, really.  Our parents and our relatives all have strong, dominant Egos and they’re more than willing to share with us how important it is that we develop ours.  From birth, they bring us gifts: Big, bright, colorful gifts that stimulate our senses.  We see how happy the gifts make everyone.  We smile because everyone else is smiling.  Things must bring us happiness!  We see our brothers and sisters fight over toys.  They shout out to each other “Mine!”  We hear this word, “mine” so often that “mine” becomes our first word.  And it makes everyone sooooo happy, we say it all the time.  Mine!  Mine!  Mine!  Oh, the joy it brings!  Our Ego is developing wonderfully.

But then our family introduces us to morals and values.  And suddenly it’s not nice to say “mine.”  We must learn to share.  We’re old enough now for our parents to teach us that it’s nice to be polite.  They take us to Sunday school and we’re introduced to the concept of God.  God is good.  We identify with this because it seems familiar.  But we’re still not quite sure why it’s familiar…  All we know is the Sunday school teacher is really nice and we get to color and eat doughnuts.  How can that be bad?  Sure, of course I’ll share with my neighbor.  Sharing must be good.

And then the teenage years hit.  Puberty sets in and all morals and values and thoughts of God and love go out the door.  Unless of course, love equals sex.  Hormones become a major driving force.  And speaking of “driving,” why does Jimmy have a better car than me?  Why does Sally get to wear all the cool fashions, while I have to shop at Marshalls?  The Ego is back in full force.  I like to call this step, “The Return to Me.”  We may as well go back to being toddlers when our first word was “mine” and we were fighting over whose dolly was whose.  It’s the same mindset.  This time is all about who has the best stuff, the latest gadget, the most recent video game, the coolest car, the hippest outfit and nowadays – even the biggest boob job.  Parents complain that their child is out of control.  But the truth is, their children are just mini-versions of themselves.  They’re also so wrapped up in their Egos, along with the rest of society, they’ve trained their children that stuff equals happiness.  Give me more, more, more!

Now we move into the college years.  Even though our Ego is stronger than ever, we start to sense that there’s more to life than just attaining stuff.  We may join a philanthropist group in school or at least have some exposure to people who live their lives in a more humanitarian way.  We see people who are activists for the environment, who feed the hungry, who basically want to make the world a better place.  We may start to question what our purpose here on Earth is.  This is the intellectual “Why am I here?” stage.  At this point, the questioning may come straight from the Ego – as it’s more important to figure out what to major in, than to save the world, but just the questioning is a start.

Then we graduate from college and are pushed into the “real world.”  Or what we perceive as the real world – since there is no reality, only perception.  But of course, we don’t know this yet, so it seems VERY real and quite scary to us.  We enter the workforce, or as I like to call this step, “The Ego Olympics.”  More than ever, we start to equate success and the acquisition of “stuff” with happiness.  In the rat race we do everything in our power to pole-vault our way up the corporate ladder, only to fall on our head, broken and bruised.  We may acquire all the stuff, but something’s missing.  We feel empty.  We feel lost and alone, even though we’re surrounded by people who admire us.  Look at all we’ve achieved!  Look how happy we are!  Look at all our stuff!  Our friends and family love us for who we are – but who are we?  We don’t even like ourselves, let alone love ourselves.  There’s got to be something more.

We touched upon our life purpose in college, but now that we’ve either achieved all the material success in life that we can stand or we’ve been struggling in all areas of life all along, we realize more than ever that there’s got to be something more to life.  We search for meaning.  This is our first introduction to our Authentic Self.  “Hello, Authentic Self.  Nice to meet you.  You seem so familiar.  Do I know you from somewhere?”  And the answer, of course, is “Yes!  I’ve been with you all along!”  You had snippets of hearing this voice.  You called it intuition or maybe a “hunch.”  But your Authentic Self has been silently guiding you through life, hoping someday that you’d recognize its existence so that you would learn to listen to it more often.  And here you are!  You learn that your Authentic Self is where love, joy, acceptance, bliss, light, and happiness all reside.  How exciting!  You feel saved.  You feel like you have discovered some secret.  “I have an inner knowing!  Finally, someone is going to help me change my life.”  You’ve seen the light.

Just when you think you hit the BLISS jackpot — you discover your SOUL has another plan for you.  You’re faced with another big challenge.  You lose your job, your car breaks down, you get sick… I like to call this stage, “Attack of the Stackers!”  But how can this be?  You’ve seen the light.  You have everything figured out.  You’ve started meditating; you’re in touch with your inner guidance; you’re setting intentions… Shouldn’t life be grand?  What’s going on?  For those of you who don’t know, Stackers are the people in your life – whether you know them or not – who are there to teach you lessons.  They’re your friends, your bosses, your spouse or even that “jerk” who just cut you off and caused you to hit the curb.  They may piss you off, but they also challenge you and bring you opportunities for learning and growth.  Which brings me to the next step…

In the next step you learn that “Stackers” are a good thing.  “That’s crazy!” you exclaim.  How could my car breaking down in the middle of the freeway be a good thing?  How could me losing my job be a good thing?  Well… at the time it may not seem that way.  But you learn that your Stackers are here to teach you your life lessons.  Once you learn the lesson, they move on.  Of course, you also learn that Earth is a school, so there will always be more lessons, but now you look at them as opportunities.  You see every time you’re faced with a problem you have the opportunity to react in a positive way.  You have a “responsibility” to remain in your loving and embrace this precious opportunity to learn and grow.  Suddenly, you’re egging the Stackers on.  “Go ahead, challenge me!  This time, I’ll get it right!”

Now that you’re conscious of your Inner Being, your Authentic Self, you can let go of your Ego, right?  Wrong!  But Ego is bad.  That’s what everyone says.  It makes you want more and more stuff, promising happiness, but never delivering.  How can that be good?  “If it’s bad, why can’t I get away from it?  I still like to shop.  I still like my house and my car.  I still like stuff.  And that’s bad, right?”  This is the next step – or fallback.  You wonder, “If I’m aware of being conscious and present, why can’t I always be that way?  Why can’t I be perfect?”  You fall into a mild depression.

This is when forgiving yourself for judging yourself is so important.  Yes, you are conscious, you are aware… but as I said before, Earth is a school and growth is a process, not something that happens lickadie-split.  You learn not to be so hard on yourself.  You are PERFECT in whatever stage you are at and you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be at any given moment.  It’s okay to have a healthy Ego.  It’s okay to want things – just don’t identify with your stuff.  JUST DON’T EXPECT THE STUFF TO FILL A VOID IN YOUR LIFE OR MAKE YOU HAPPY.  If you identify with your stuff, you become it.  It becomes you.  And you are not the car you drive, the house you live in, or the job you have.  You are a divine Spiritual being on this Earth in human form having a human experience.

Learning this sits well with you and you feel as if you can breathe again.  And then the holidays arrive.

You’re feeling joyful and in the spirit of love and giving.  You’re so excited about all you’ve learned and are eager to share it with your family, or shall we call them, “Your Ultimate Stackers”?  They love you and know what’s best for you and frankly, they think you’ve lost your marbles.  What is all this talk about your Ego and Authentic Self?  You must’ve joined some cult.  When is the mass suicide planned so we can get in an intervention before then to save you?  Suddenly, self-protection sets in.  You convince yourself that they’re just not as conscious as you are.  They just don’t get it.  You move into self-righteousness – you are sooo much better than them.  This doesn’t feel good – but it keeps you safe.  It keeps your Ego safe…

And then you remember.  There is no right and wrong, only perception.  You forgive yourself for judging, recognize that your family is on their own path and it’s not up to you to change them or anyone else for that matter.  You are only responsible for yourself.  Ahhh… this feels much better.  At last, the burden of convincing your family that you’re right and they’re wrong is lifted.  You can return back to your center where your Authentic Self is waiting for you with a big, warm hug and a hot mug of cocoa.

And so life continues on, with many ups and downs.  The Stackers continue to teach you lesson after lesson.  You’re knocking some of them down like a video game, while others beat you to a pulp.  But you have learned to look for the good in every experience.  This continues for many lifetimes, until finally…

You graduate!  Congratulations!  You’re going Home.  After all your ups and downs, you’ve learned what you’ve set out to learn here on Earth and your time has come to return to Spirit form and go Home.  You look back for a moment and feel good.  But it’s time to return to the light, return to love, return Home.

Welcome home!  Now it’s time to go back and do it all over again…

With Love, for the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

“What you think of me is none of my business.”  Huh?  But I thought… I’ve lived my whole life…

Yes, I know, this concept was hard for me to accept at first too.  So many of us seek approval, love, and acceptance OUTSIDE ourSELVES — wanting, needing, hoping, PRAYING everyone ELSE will make us feel okay.

This is dangerous.  Why?  Because when we do this, we give our power away.

The truth is — other people’s “opinions” are just reflections of their own consciousness, not yours.   Please stop trying so desperately to get other people to approve of YOU and your life.  You are loved.  You are supported.  You are enough.

The next time someone verbally, psychically, emotionally or, God-forbid, physically attacks you– remember this: IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.  IT’S ABOUT THEM.  Never allow anyone’s negative projections to bring you down or hurt you.  It’s not personal.

Now, on the flip side (there’s always a catch, right?), if their feedback is coming from a loving place and it RESONATES with you– by all means — take it!  I’m not referring to people who love and support you and want to lift you up.  Then again, even their feedback may not resonate with your heart and soul.  YOU decide.

So whenever you find someone giving you advice (me included!!!), please go within and check with yourSELF.  How does the feedback feel inside of you?  Does it resonate as truth?  Is it coming from a place of LOVE or FEAR?  Only YOU can answer this.  You know what is best for you in your heart.  Take stock, consider what feels like truth, and release the rest.

Trust your vibes.  Trust your inner guidance.  Trust yourSELF.

With Love, for the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

“But why didn’t he want to marry me?  What’s wrong with me??” cried Sally in the classic romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally.

It’s crazy, but our basic self HATES to be rejected.  Even if we know it’s for the best and understand on a higher spiritual level that it’s all part of a greater divine plan.

But why?  Why do we choose to make ourselves suffer when a guy doesn’t like us or we’re not hired for a job?  Why can’t we just trust in the Universe that it’s all for our highest good?  Why can’t we just “accept what is” and love ourselves?

I’m asking these questions as a sit in the disappointment of a “failed” attempt at a perceived “perfect” relationship.  I use the words “perceived perfect” because my expectations of what this relationship could be was soooo much greater than the reality of what it was.  I had, in truth, created a “fantasy” in my head and was upset when reality didn’t live up to my fantasy.  Oh, dear!  Silly me.

Which brings me to expectations.  I don’t believe there is anything inherently “wrong” with expectations.  We set goals with the expectation of achieving them.  It’s the attachment to how it’s “supposed to turn out” that causes us so much pain and in turn makes us lose sight of the lesson, gift, or blessing of the experience.

In short: We get pissed off and then hold others (and God) responsible.  Well, why shouldn’t they be held responsible?!  THEY knew what we wanted, needed, fantasized about and THEY let us down.  Right?  Right?!  (If I say it louder, you’ll agree with me, I just know it!)  Oh, boy…

So does that mean we shouldn’t dream of the perfect relationship, the perfect job, the perfect everything?  NO!  Dreams are like prayers.  They’re intentions.  But sometimes the Universe has something better to offer you and it’s just waiting for you to let go and trust that everything is “okay.”  Maybe if you keep putting both feet in front of the other, you’ll eventually end up where you want to be.  And maybe, just maybe, along the way, you’ll experience some pretty amazing things.  I know I have.

Being attached to expectations limits us.  Allow yourself to be OPEN and in a place of gratitude.  The Universe has a bigger plan.  And remember, Sally ended up with Harry in the end — not that guy she was crying over.  🙂

With Love, for the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

If you live in this world, chances are you’ve experienced it.  The grip of extreme and debilitating anxiety, haunting you in the middle of the night, waking you up in a cold sweat with questions spiraling inside your head.  Will I be able to pay the rent?  Will I ever find my soulmate?  How can I pay for holiday gifts?  Did I leave the stove on?  Is that a ghost in the corner or just my alarm clock?  Most of us have felt this terror at some point in our lives.  While going through some big changes the past few years, I felt it EVERY night for a long time.  So in order to continue my existence on this lovely planet, I had to find a solution.  Walking around, half asleep, with bags under may eyes was certainly NOT the way to attract goodness into my life — let alone the man of my dreams.

So here’s what I learned.

Worry is negative prayer.  It’s true.  It’s kinda like the old saying “You create what you fear.”  When you worry, you’re actually asking the Universe to give you what you DON’T want.

So when you’re lying in bed awake and worried– STOP.  I know this is easier said than done.  But the way to solve this problem is to bring yourself back to the present moment.  This gives your brain something to focus on — other than your fear.  To do this, take a deep breath and go WITHIN.  Unless your house is really burning down or a poltergeist is coming at you from a fuzzy TV screen, chances are, in the moment YOU ARE OK.  All your worries and fears are NOT REAL.  They are OUT THERE.  If they are out there, they can’t be in the present moment.  And neither can you.  In this moment, you still have a roof over your head, a job, a marriage, food, your heath– whatever it is you’re worried about.  You’re not doing that presentation; you’re not late for a flight; you’re not breaking up a fight with Aunt Ethel and Uncle Bernie on Christmas Day.  You’re HERE in the MOMENT.  And all is well.

What you focus on gets BIGGER!!

You may have experienced this in your life, but didn’t realize it.  For example: Have you ever gotten out of bed, tripped over the dog and stubbed your toe, sending shooting pain through your body?  Then you spill your coffee, get stuck in traffic, making you late for work, pissing off your boss, who in turn demotes you, and eventually fires you?  ALL because you stubbed your toe!!  Okay, maybe that’s a bit extreme — but you get the point.  One bad thing leads to another.  Isn’t that a song?  If you don’t shift the negative energy on the spot — it will get bigger and BIGGER.  Move yourSELF back to the present moment, recognize that you’re OKAY and this will immediately boost your vibration and allow yourSELF to shift the energy into an upward momentum.

The good news is, this also works when positive things happen.  If you’re having a great day — your spirits are up, your vibration is high and you ATTRACT more good stuff.

Gratitude is another great way to shift your energy.  When anxiety or fear strikes, first bring yourself into the present moment, then think about all the great things your already have.  Even if the only thing you can think of is that you are ALIVE and breathing, it’s a start.  Be grateful for that.

Don’t forget to BREATHE.  Focusing on your breath helps bring you back to your center — which is where LOVE resides and guess what else?  The present moment — where all is well.

Of course, meditation is also a way to avoid anxiety.  I love to meditate before I go to sleep at night.  This usually wards off any anxiety and allows me to sleep well.  But if you still wake up, using meditation to “get out of your head” in the middle of the night, works wonders.

So, let’s review.  Here are the simple steps to easing nighttime anxiety — or any anxiety for that matter.

1. STOP and bring yourSELF back to the PRESENT MOMENT where ALL is WELL.

2. Notice that all is well and that your anxiety is coming from FEAR of what might happen — not what actually is happening.  IT’S NOT REAL.  IT’S OUT THERE.

3. Think of all the things you have in your life that you are grateful for.

4. Breathe! Oh, and visually surrounding yourself with LIGHT works wonders!

5. Meditate

6. Sleep peacefully, knowing that you are loved because you ARE LOVE and you are always taken care of.

Awww.  Much better than drugs!  Don’t cha think?

For the highest good…

xo, Christy

2015 was a tough year for a lot of us and we are so ready to welcome a fresh start. But with all the challenges, there were good times too, right? Now is the time to reflect on the good stuff — even if you have to reframe the difficult to find the blessing. It’s there, I promise.

Here’s what I suggest:

Write those things down and be GRATEFUL. Every challenge presented to us is an opportunity to learn and grow. If you had to move, you might have learned to let go of attachments. If you ended a relationship, you might have learned that you deserve a better more fulfilling relationship. If you struggled financially, you might have learned to creatively manifest all your needs and to trust. All of our struggles teach us to be more compassionate and less judgmental of others. If we allow ourselves to receive the lessons, we can open up our hearts even wider. Whatever your challenge, there is always a learning opportunity. Always a reason.

RELEASE and LET GO — Make a list of all the things you want to LEAVE BEHIND in 2015. This can be people, places, attitudes, judgements, misbeliefs, ANYTHING — and BURN it. Not the people, silly — the paper! 🙂

Do your laundry, clean your house, remove expired food from the fridge. Start out the New Year with a clean slate. You don’t want to bring any “dirty laundry” into 2016. It may seem silly — but trust me. I know a lot of you are cleaning out your closets, garages and cabinets now and that’s even better. But if you don’t have much time — just clean out the fridge and do some laundry. This is about shifting energy and making room for the new.

Now for the fun part!

Let’s Create Abundance:

1. Reflect on ALL you accomplished, released, shifted and enjoyed in 2015 and write it down. You’ll be amazed at how much you did and it’ll lift your spirits!

2. Now make a list of your intentions for 2016. What do you want to accomplish, manifest, achieve? Write it down in the “I am” format, as if it has already happened. For example: “I am publishing my book.” “I am running 5 miles a day.” “I am living on the French Riviera with my hot Parisian boyfriend.” You get the point.

3. Stock your fridge with healthy food. A stocked fridge always makes us feel prosperous. Food is a basic need and when we have it, it creates a feeling of prosperity. Prosperity creates more prosperity.

4. Fill up your gas tank. Again, a full tank creates the feeling of abundance and this is great if travel is on your list of things to do in 2016.

5. Fill your wallet with CASH. Even if you only put one dollar bills — this still works. In fact, according to Feng Shui, putting 27 one-dollar bills in your wallet works best. 🙂 Again, it’s all about FEELING abundant!

6. Buy something that will support your new intentions/resolutions. If you want to get in shape — buy your shoes now. If you want to learn to cook — buy a cooking utensil. If you want to learn French- buy a French book. If you want to go to Paris, buy a travel book on France. You get the picture. It doesn’t have to be a big purchase. For me, I want to commit to doing more Yoga, so I bought a Groupon for Yoga. It’s simple. Support yourself NOW and bring those intentions into the New Year.

7. Create a vision board. You can even do this on Pinterest if you want, but I find it more fun to cut up magazines and paste them on posterboard. It’s more active and creative when you use your hands. Basically, you want to cut out pictures and words that represent what you want to create/manifest for yourself in the New Year. This is FUN and it activates hope and joy within your heart. Place the board where you can see it every day. I put mine by my bed so I see it first thing in the morning.

And finally…

8. Dance in the New Year with JOY! Be proud of yourself for all you accomplished this past year and be happy that you made it!! Pat yourself on the back and send yourself blessings of LOVE, JOY, PROSPERITY, AND PEACE. YOU DESERVE IT! BELIEVE IT!

Happy New Year! Many blessings to you and to the world!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy

The traditional perception of a soulmate is someone who will “sweep you off your feet, bring you everlasting love and happiness, and solve all your problems so that you’ll never feel lonely, upset or angry again.”  Society (and Hollywood) has led us to believe that we all have someone out there who will “complete us”—implying that we couldn’t possibly be whole all by ourselves.  According to this theory your soulmate would never trigger you, piss you off, annoy you or, God forbid, disagree with you… right?

Not necessarily…  In fact, the more your mate drives you nuts, the better chance they are your soulmate.

Soulmates come in many forms.  They can be a sister, a spouse, or even a best friend.  And underneath the connection, the unconditional love and support that you feel, lurks something that you may not expect: a TEACHER.

Surprise!  A true soulmate is someone who is in your life to teach you.  Soulmates can make you feel like the world is your oyster, AND they can trigger the hell out of you.  But rest assured, all this “triggering” is designed for your growth.  Relationships mirror back to us how we feel about ourselves—and, let’s face it, sometimes that’s not so pretty.  Hey, don’t blame me.  I’m just the messenger.  I didn’t set this whole thing up.  In fact, YOU did!  Before you came to Earth, YOU decided what lessons your soul needed to learn and how you were going to learn these lessons.

What we’ve been conditioned to expect out of a soulmate relationship has set us up for disappointment.  Sorry, ladies, but Prince Charming does not exist.  Or as my mom so wisely put it: If you expect him to ride up on a white horse, you might want to make sure he OWNS a white horse to ride up on.  Now, how many men do you know who fit into this category?  Personally – I don’t know any.  So throw the notion of being saved out the window.  It’s not going to happen.

Don’t worry.  I’m not claiming that every relationship has to be a challenging, difficult mess.  What I’m saying is that every relationship is meant to teach us something about ourselves.  They are ALL meant to assist us in our growth.  And, who knows, maybe your lesson in this lifetime is to have more fun.  If it is, lucky you!  I won’t call you a slacker — at least not to your face.  In fact, I think I’ll take the slacker route next lifetime.  I’m exhausted!

So the next time you’re out there looking for your “soulmate”—don’t be fooled by the instant connection and the “I swear I’ve known you for years” feeling.  (That’s how they hook you!)  Because when the dust settles, and the falling in love hormones subside – you’re in for the ride of you life.  Just remember, that ride is for your highest good.  You set it up.  And instead of running away screaming when times get tough and the learning begins, maybe it’d be best to stick around, take a good look at your SELF and embrace the process.  Who knows, you might just find that after all the searching, your true soulmate was your SELF all along.

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

Remember as a child, when someone would try to insult you by saying, “Who do you think you are, God’s gift to the world?!”

Well, here’s a newsflash: You ARE God’s gift to the world.

And here’s the real wake-up call: What are you doing with the GIFT that is YOU?

On my run this morning, I got to thinking about how we are all given hints of our gifts really early in childhood.  For me, running has always been my thing.  The first “hint” I got of this was in third grade when I won Miss Jog-a-thon out of the entire K-8 school.  Of course, at the time, I was just running circles around a grass field trying to get my laps in so I could raise money.  Another sign of a strength I cultivated later in life:  I’m very “goal oriented” and persistent when it comes to achieving those goals. Sometimes to a fault…

As of today, I’ve completed four marathons and more triathlons than I can count.  Running, swimming and biking are the things that uplift me and keep me sane, not to mention, in shape.  And, because of all my training, I’ve inspired many people to get in shape themselves.

In sixth grade I wrote my first book.  Ok– it was a picture book that was assigned in English class, but there are two things that stand out to me today.  One: It was about helping kids get through a divorce.   A sort of “how to get through the challenges” self-help book for kids.  Whoa!  I was only 12!  Two: My teacher loved the book so much that he kept it to share with future classes.  Damn!  I wish I had it today.

Today, I write a blog about “getting through the challenges” and I’m the author of a relationship memoir.  Ironically, the book is about picking yourself up off the floor after a divorce or break-up.  I’m sensing a theme here…

In high school my dad used to call me the sitcom queen.  I LOVED sitcoms.  I watched them all.  Then at UCLA, I took a playwriting class and got a B in the class because the professor thought it was “too much like a sitcom.”  The read-thru of the play got tons of laughs, so I didn’t give a hoot about the grade.  They were laughing at what I wrote!

Today I’m a sitcom writer and recently started performing stand-up comedy…

My point in sharing all this is to get YOU to take a look at YOUR life.  What are the moments that stand out in your life?  What were you drawn to in your childhood that molded who are are today?  Are you suppressing a talent because “it’s not the right time” or “you have a job to do”?  We all have gifts and it’s our obligation to share them with the world.  It’s why we’re here.  It’s how we find our bliss and share our love.

We weren’t born to make a ton of money (although that’s not bad, it’s just not WHY), or to be slaves to a society that says we must do, achieve, and accumulate.  We’re here to serve, share, be joyful and LOVE.

If you were praised as a child, or even TODAY for a talent that you have, there’s a reason for it.  If something brings you joy, puts you in a place of peace and invigorates you — DO IT!  Whatever it is — painting, inspiring, writing, teaching, photography, sculpting, landscaping, nurturing, cooking… It doesn’t matter what it is.  If it brings you joy, it’s your GIFT.

If you step into your purpose and embrace your gifts, not only will you bring yourself joy, but you’ll also make the world a better place.  Hmmm, how bad could that be?

With Love, for the highest good…

xo, Christy

On November 30, 2011, I said good-bye to my beloved Golden Retriever, Ivy.  The decision to put her down and the pain of losing her was so heart-wrenching that I didn’t think I’d want to adopt another dog again.  At least not for a long time.

A few months later, I was feeling really guilty about putting Ivy down and I consulted an intuitive about it.  I just wanted the comfort in knowing that I had made the right decision.  She told me that Ivy was happy (of course) and that she “saw a little, white dog.”  She informed me that Ivy was already back on earth and if I ever saw a little, white dog, it was her.  Okay… how many little, white dogs are out there???  Give me a break!  She said I’d know her when I saw her, but I didn’t think much of it.

Then, later that March I had a strong urge to adopt a dog.  I can’t really explain the feeling, but my heart knew the time was right even when my head kept saying “no way.”  I thought it couldn’t hurt to “look” so I went online and checked out some dogs that were up for adoption.   I was immediately drawn to a little, white puppy.  (Hmmm…  By this time I had totally forgotten about the intuitive reading.)  Again, I can’t explain the feeling — it was just a “knowing” that the dog was MY dog.  But I couldn’t go to see him until the next day, so I kept looking.  Pet Smart was holding adoptions that day and had a litter of puppies, so I decided to drive over and check it out.  I held some puppies, even filled out an application for one, but as I drove home, I knew the dog wasn’t mine.

I checked out the little, white puppy again online.  This time, I even filled out the application. Then, the next day I drove to Petco…

As I walked into the store, I could see the little, white puppy in his crate.  He spotted me from across the room and immediately started jumping up and down and whining as if to say, “Finally!  You came!  I’m right here!!”  I swear it was like in the movies when the couple who’s meant to be together has been separated for a long time and they finally reunite at the end.  The lights dimmed, time slowed down — our long hair blew in the wind where there was no wind.  I knew in an instant, he was MY dog.

His name was Milo and he was four months old.  He was the cutest puppy I had ever seen and while I sat and held him in the store, he kept turning his head around to give me kisses, as if he knew I was his mom and everything was going to be okay.  The adoption lady told me my application was approved and all I needed was to pass the home check.  Fine.  No problem.  “So, if I leave you won’t let anyone else adopt him?”  I was already attached and paranoid of leaving my new found love.  “Of course not.  He’s yours.”  She then went on to say that they’d had him for two months and nobody had yet to fill out an application.  Cutest puppy in the world and no one wanted him???  Even she thought it was odd.

So I left…

And I waited… for days… and no one called to schedule the home check.  I started to freak out.  I emailed them.  I called them.  No one responded.  What happened?  Finally, after surviving one panic attack after another, I said to myself — “If Milo’s really MY dog, no one can take him away.”  And I let go.  It was hard, but I had no control over the situation.  I had to surrender.

That day I got the call.  Milo was mine.

“What happened?” I asked, wondering why they chose to torture me by avoiding my calls and emails.

The lady explained that a local TV news anchor woman had come in right after me and wanted to adopt Milo.  The head adoption lady thought that if they gave Milo to her, they’d get a lot of free publicity.  But then the woman on the phone explained that something “didn’t feel right” to her.

(You mean, besides the fact that you promised the dog to ME???!!!)

So she decided to Google me.  You see, I’d been writing this blog and I’d started a Facebook business page.  And for some reason (haha — there are no coincidences) I’d been posting tons of stuff about animals — particularly dogs.  The woman started reading my blog and was so touched by how much I loved animals that she was convinced that Milo should go to me.  “I could see how spiritual you were and I just felt like he belonged to you.”

I couldn’t believe it: My blog got me my dog!!

I was so relieved, happy and excited (and grateful that I had started writing this blog!) I could barely contain myself.

A few days later, I brought Milo home.

Milo has been the light of my life the last year.  I know that people say you should “save a shelter dog,” but I truly believe he saved me.  He has been with me through some of the toughest times of my life — dancing, cuddling and making me smile.

He came into my life with his first task — to teach me to surrender and trust.  If things are YOURS, they’re YOURS and you can’t lose them.  I now apply this philosophy to everything in my life and it helps me to live with much less anxiety and much more peace and joy.

I thought it’d be a long time before I could love another dog again.  I can’t say for sure that Milo is Ivy reincarnated, but he certainly looks like a mini-golden retriever.  And sometimes when I look at a picture of him, his eyes look just like hers.  Regardless, I like to say that Milo fell from Heaven.  No one knows why there was only one puppy (and not a litter) brought into the shelter or even what mix of breed he is.  But the one thing I know for sure is this: he’s MY little, white angel and I’m so grateful I followed my intuition to look for a dog that day.

And Baxter cat is pretty happy too!

With love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy, Milo and Baxter

Most of us know it all too well.  That stubborn side of us that crosses its arms, pouts in the corner and refuses to budge.  That side of us that loudly exclaims, “No!  I don’t wanna do it and you can’t make me!”

Yes, my dear friends — meet “Resistance.”

I’ve been re-aquainting myself with little Miss Resistance ever since I made the commitment to finish my book.  She shows up EVERYWHERE.  She follows me to the coffee shop, to the library, to the beach, even to the bathroom.  Come on, can’t a girl have some peace??

So I decided to face her.  She wasn’t going to leave.  She’d made that quite clear.

“What the hell is up with you?!”

Maybe I could’ve been more gentle, but I was fed up.  She was keeping me from finishing my book.  She was keeping me STUCK.  She was constantly putting “distractions” in front of me — anything to keep me from writing.

Confession: This weekend I watched 15 hours of Revenge.  That’s when I knew I had a problem.

So, I asked her: “What the hell is up with you???  Why won’t you let me write?”

Miss Resistance: “I’m terrified.”

Not just afraid — terrified!

That’s when I realized the truth.  This book is sort of a coming out for me.  I’ve been in hiding for years — writing this blog in the safety of my own home, behind the wall of my computer.  But my dream has been to write a book, and actually go out into the world and speak about it.  I’m wise enough to know that you should be careful what you ask for — you might just get it.   Miss Resistance was saying — “If you finish the book, once it’s “out there,” you can no longer stay in your cocoon– you’ll have to fly.”  And even though that’s exactly what I’ve been asking for, it’s friggin’ scary!

Once I made the commitment to mySELF to finish the book, all my insecurities started coming up to keep me from moving forward.  “What do you have to say anyway??  Who do you think you are, giving people advice on relationships???  What gives you the authority?  Ha!  You really think people are gonna read this junk?  You think you’re so spiritual?!  You think you’re FUNNY?” And on and on and on…

My ego would say ANYTHING to keep me from writing.  Anything to keep me small.  Anything to keep me in my so-called comfort zone.

As human beings, we are conditioned to stay in our comfort zone — no matter how painful that comfort zone is.  Children have been known to hang onto a parent’s leg, screaming and crying not to be taken away — even though that parent has abused them for years.  They’d rather stay with the pain that they’re comfortable with, the pain that they “know” and can count on, then go out into the unknown.  Even if the “unknown” means a better life.

It’s not our fault, it’s our nature.  But if we recognize that our resistance to change or growth is holding us back, we can push through it and rebirth ourSELVES into a better life — much like the caterpillar’s “apparent death,” leads him to reemerge as a butterfly.

Our EGO self wants us to stay small.  It’s the ego’s voice of resistance that tricks us with fear and keeps us in situations that aren’t for our highest good — whether that be as damaging as an abusive relationship or as seemingly insignificant as not finishing a book.

As soon as I pinpointed WHY I was resisting — it was much easier to push through it.  Now, instead of seeing my DEADline as a dark, looming, ever-torturing means to an end, I’m reframing it as a LIFEline (thank you, Melissa Lilly, for this awesome term!)– a bright, shiny, new, exciting beginning.  I don’t know where this book will lead me, but I’m now just letting it flow.  I’m enjoying the process of co-creation, without the worry or attachment to how it will turn out.  My job is to write the book with joy, HUmor and wisdom and that’s it.  The rest is up to the Universe.  The rest is up to God.  I’m surrendering the outcome for my highest good.

A lot of times when we challenge ourselves by embarking on new adventures — fear and resistance rear their ugly heads.  This is for our growth.  If we push through it, believe in ourSELVES, TRUST and SURRENDER, we’ll find ourselves in a much better place — a place where resistance turns to going with the flow.  And trust me, it takes much less energy to flow with the current of the stream, than to painfully struggle UPSTREAM.  So, as of now, I’m bidding good-bye to resistance, getting back in the water, and going with the flow.

With LOVE, for the highest good…

xo, Christy