“But why didn’t he want to marry me? What’s wrong with me??” cried Sally in the classic romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally.
It’s crazy, but our basic self HATES to be rejected. Even if we know it’s for the best and understand on a higher spiritual level that it’s all part of a greater divine plan.
But why? Why do we choose to make ourselves suffer when a guy doesn’t like us or we’re not hired for a job? Why can’t we just trust in the Universe that it’s all for our highest good? Why can’t we just “accept what is” and love ourselves?
I’m asking these questions as a sit in the disappointment of a “failed” attempt at a perceived “perfect” relationship. I use the words “perceived perfect” because my expectations of what this relationship could be was soooo much greater than the reality of what it was. I had, in truth, created a “fantasy” in my head and was upset when reality didn’t live up to my fantasy. Oh, dear! Silly me.
Which brings me to expectations. I don’t believe there is anything inherently “wrong” with expectations. We set goals with the expectation of achieving them. It’s the attachment to how it’s “supposed to turn out” that causes us so much pain and in turn makes us lose sight of the lesson, gift, or blessing of the experience.
In short: We get pissed off and then hold others (and God) responsible. Well, why shouldn’t they be held responsible?! THEY knew what we wanted, needed, fantasized about and THEY let us down. Right? Right?! (If I say it louder, you’ll agree with me, I just know it!) Oh, boy…
So does that mean we shouldn’t dream of the perfect relationship, the perfect job, the perfect everything? NO! Dreams are like prayers. They’re intentions. But sometimes the Universe has something better to offer you and it’s just waiting for you to let go and trust that everything is “okay.” Maybe if you keep putting both feet in front of the other, you’ll eventually end up where you want to be. And maybe, just maybe, along the way, you’ll experience some pretty amazing things. I know I have.
Being attached to expectations limits us. Allow yourself to be OPEN and in a place of gratitude. The Universe has a bigger plan. And remember, Sally ended up with Harry in the end — not that guy she was crying over. 🙂
With Love, for the highest good…
xo, Christy Jacobs