“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  Remember this saying from our childhood?  We’re raised to believe that words don’t have power.  We all know that words can definitely hurt us emotionally — with just one minor insult to our character sending us spiraling down a dark hole of devastatingly low self-esteem.  Come on, we’ve all been there.  Right?  Don’t let me go down alone here.

But in addition to emotional downspirals, there’s an even more powerful aspect to our words.  Our words CREATE our reality.

It’s true.  I received a real wake-up call to the truth of this when my computer died this past week.  You see, the past few months, my precious MacBook was starting to run slow and the video completely went caput.  I was so frustrated that I kept saying, “I need a new computer.”  Now while this statement was true, I did need a new computer — I didn’t REALLY need a new computer.  It really was serving me just fine.  Then, my dog — assisting the Universe like she loves to do — made my words TRUE by knocking over my drink, spilling sticky liquid onto my MacBook, in turn– killing it.  My words, “I need a new computer” were never so true!  “Really, Universe?  Couldn’t you just have someone gift me a new computer for Christmas?” Of course, where would the lesson be in that?

While this is just one example of how our words have power, I thought it was a good reminder to watch what we say.  We just crossed over a threshold on 11-11-11.  Eleven is the the number of manifestation and our thoughts, words and feelings are manifesting faster and faster than we realize.  It’s more important than ever to pay attention to what you focus on.

If you want something, sometimes something else may have to go in order to make room for what you want.  In my case, I wanted a new computer, so the Universe created room for it by eliminating my old one.  If you want a better job, you may lose the one you have to make room for a new and better one.  If you want a healthly loving relationship, your current relationship may end.  You get the picture.

But don’t take my word for it.  Try it out and see what happens.  Ask “out loud” for what you want.  Better yet, act as if you already have it.  The words, “I am” are very powerful little creators.  Saying and writing things in the “I am” raises your vibration to the level of what you want to receive.  So instead of “wanting” something to happen, keeping that thing “out there” you’re drawing it in by the law of attraction.  For example, if you “want” a new job, say, “I am working in a career that fulfills me, brings me joy, pays me well and serves humanity.”  You can be more specific to what job you actually want.  It’s your life, your experience — create it!!  You have the power!

This week, pay attention to what you say.  Keep your words positive and see what you attract into your life.  I like to make a list of what I manifest.  This week, I get to add “new MacBook” to my list.  Lucky me!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

Since today is 11-11-11 and the number 11 in Angel Numbers represents manifestation, I felt it would be a great day to write about how to manifest.

Many people have asked me how I manage to go on so many trips to so many fabulous places.  The truth is, it’s been a mystery to even me until now.  But after manifesting what seemed to me at the time as random, last minute trips to Hawaii, time and time again—I started to think there was something to this.  I thought, “I must just be great at manifesting trips to Hawaii.”  Then one day my aunt encouraged me to “up the bar” and try to manifest a trip to Europe.  And sure enough — Voila!!  I ended up on the trip of a lifetime to Paris and the Amalfi Coast less than a month later!  I’m still in la-la land from that one!

Now if you read my blog, you probably already know that I’m not exactly financially prosperous at the moment.  I, like most of the world, have been going through my own challenges in that department.  But through it all, I’m learning that it’s not really about money.  Money is just energy.  We are perfectly capable of manifesting a great life WITHOUT money.  I wrote about this in my first blog entry, but now I am even more convinced it’s true.  I believe this is the lesson I personally was meant to learn in this lifetime, which is why the Universe has “withheld” money from me.  “Let’s see how well she does without it!”  Ha!  Very funny, Universe.  I’m so on to you!

So—since I believe the Universe is my source – and EVERYONE’s source, I thought I’d share with you a few tips on how to manifest your desires.  No, this isn’t “The Secret.”  Although, I think that video/book had a lot of truth in it, I don’t believe you can sit in your living room, think about a diamond necklace and have it arrive at your doorstep.  A first class Parisian vacation, maybe, but NOT a diamond necklace.  Come one, let’s be REALISTIC, folks!

In short—here are 8 simple steps.

1. Write down what you want and read it out loud.  Writing it down brings what you want from your mind and thoughts, and moves it to a visual place.  Doing this makes the dream more concrete and real.  Now, you’ve not only moved the idea from your thoughts to paper, you’re involving more senses by hearing it.   Now, smell the paper… Ha!  Just kidding… Well, you can if you want.  Remember “Smelly Markers”?  Aww… the good ole days… 🙂
2. Now FEEL your desire.  If you want a trip somewhere, visualize yourself in that place and pay attention to how it makes your feel inside.  Right before I went to Paris, I felt myself in a beautiful place, with Autumn crispness in the air and a feeling of love enveloping me.  (I had no idea I was going to Paris at the time.)  Two days later, I replicated the exact feeling in Paris!  This is how the law of attraction works.  What you’re really drawing to yourself is the feeling – not the actual “thing.”  This is why I like to think of manifesting as attracting an experience or emotion, rather than some physical outward tangible thing.  We’re here to experience, not accumulate.
3. Ask your Angels for assistance and pay attention to the signs.  I know this seems kinda crazy, but if you want something, you have to ask for it.  Silly concept!  If you don’t ask, your divine guidance can’t help you.  You can read more about this in my blog, “How ‘bout them Angels?”  But basically, take your list, light a white candle and read it out loud.  It really works.  Your Angels want to help you.  They’re just hanging out, waiting for you to put them to work!
4. Always end your asking with “This or something better for the highest good…”  This is important because you don’t really know what the true divine plan is for you.  You may get something even better than you could have imagined.  Don’t be attached to the outcome.  Release and surrender.  You’ve asked.  Now let it go.  Trust that you’re being taken care of because you ARE!
5. Be GRATEFUL for what you already have.  Acknowledge what you’ve already manifested in your life.  You’re manifesting every day, even if you don’t realize it.  Own it and know that you’re being taken care of.
6. Live your life from your HEART.  This is the MOST IMPORTANT step.  Make sure all your interactions come from a place of love.  What you put out into the Universe comes back to you.  This is a Universal truth.  If you’re putting out negative, ego-based, selfish energy – THAT’S what you’ll bring back to you.  I can’t emphasize this enough.  I really believe this is the true secret to manifesting the life of your dreams.  If you put out loving energy, it WILL return to you.  I promise.
7. Keep your vibrational energy HIGH.  Another VERY important step.  This means keep your spirits high as much as possible.  We all go through difficult times, but try to find the humor in the challenges.  Take chances.  Say YES!  Look for the good in everything.  Yes, even that mother-in-law you’re dreading seeing at Thanksgiving is a good person who is here to teach you.  Find out what that lesson is and be done with it.  I said, be done with IT, not HER!  Feelings that vibrate low are jealousy, anger, fear, hatred, resentment – you get the point.  Bad feelings that make you feel, well, BAD.  Check those at the door!  LOVE vibrates the highest and will attract all the good stuff to you.  You feel GOOD – you attract more GOOD.  Again, it’s that simple.
8. Enjoy your life!  We’re here to love, live in joy, and have fun!  Please don’t forget this.

Of course, if you don’t follow these steps EXACTLY how I teach you, you can forget about it!  You’ll never get anything.  Ha! 🙂  But seriously, go within and ask your inner guidance how you can use these steps to assist yourSELF in your own life.  Your higher self knows and is happy to assist you!

Happy 11-11-11!  Many blessings to you and to the world!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

Sometimes I’ll listen to my friends talk about their teenagers “in love” and hear them refer to their feelings condescendingly as “puppy love.”  They don’t take their children’s relationships seriously.  But why do we discredit the love that teenagers feel for each other?   Is it really just “puppy love”?  And what’s wrong with puppy love?  I, for one, think puppies may have a lot to teach us about love.

When we’re young we love without expectations.  Teenagers aren’t concerned about adult issues like: Does he make enough money?  Does she come from a good family?  Can he provide for me?  Would she make a good mother?  Will he sweep me off my feet, ride up on a white horse, save me from all my problems, complete me, make me whole and make all my dreams come true AND pay the rent?  Teenagers love without Ego… “Young, Free and in Love” may be much closer to the truth of authentic love than we realize.

Which begs the question: Is it possible that we’re “smarter” in love when we’re teenagers?

As we grow older (and supposedly wiser) we often put up walls based on our previous relationships.  If we’ve been disappointed in love – and let’s admit it, we all have been — we often put up emotional walls to protect us from getting hurt again.  Walls intended to protect us, but inadvertently end up hurting us by keeping people “out” and disabling our ability to experience intimacy.  We act like PTSD babies exclaiming, “I’ll NEVER let anyone treat me like that again.”  Often going to extremes to ensure our emotional safety.  Which in turn, ends up stifling our physical, emotional and spiritual growth.

When we’re young and unscathed, our hearts are open and pure.  We love with our hearts, not our minds, putting ourselves out on the line with nothing to lose and everything to gain.  We’re romantic, vulnerable and unafraid of intimacy.  I used to write poetry for my boyfriend in high school.  Then one day, writing romantic poetry “seemed” silly and immature.  So I stopped.

And remember “mixed tapes”?  How many adults still make mixed tapes for their loved ones?  Okay, maybe not “mixed tapes” these days, but romantic playlists for our iPods. Are they really considered corny after the age of 17?  Or are we just afraid to express ourselves with such vulnerability later in life?  If you still make them—bravo to you!  And if you’re single, call me!

When we were teenagers we didn’t choose our partners based on what kind of job they had.  We didn’t worry about how much money they make or if they’ll be a good father/husband/wife/mother.  We just loved the person for who they were without expectations – other than if they’ll sit with us at lunch.  Or take us to the prom.  And not date our step-sister… Or our best friend…  (No, that did not happen to me.  I have a friend…)  Love was simple.  And sweet.  What a concept!

Yes, it’s true, we could do without the teenage angst: “I can’t live without you!  If you leave me I’ll DIE.”  But at least the angst is honest.  Heartbreak is heartbreak.  Love is love — no matter what age you happen to be.  Teenagers just don’t hold back in “expressing” their love.

I guess my point is: Wouldn’t it be nice to go back to just loving each other for who we are authentically?  Bring down the walls, lose the expectations and be wild and free— just like when we were kids.  Bring back the puppy love.  Who doesn’t love a puppy?  Love without EGO.  I have a feeling our relationships would improve ten-fold as we learn to express ourSELVES authentically from a place of pure puppy love.  Can you love this way?  I think you can.  Count me in!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

From birth, we’ve been creating “who we are” from an ego perspective.  By “ego,” I’m referring to our physical, mental and emotional based reality.  Our experiences, whether they were challenging or nurturing all created a belief system of “who we are.”

Maybe when you were young, your parents introduced you to tennis.  They were avid tennis players, so in order to feel connected to them, you picked up a tennis racket at age three, practiced with them, felt loved and connected, and in turn tennis became a big part of your life.  As time went on, you took on the identity of a “tennis player.”  Or even “a great tennis player.”  But what if your parents played rugby?  Would you then be “a great rugby player”?

Since we once created “who we are,” I wonder, why can’t we do it again?  If all our previous roles are stripped away – leaving simply our divine being, that which is LOVE – can’t we just recreate ourselves any way we’d like?  Think about it – we came into this world as just pure LOVE with no ego to speak of.  We LEARNED how we were supposed to act and who we were “supposed” to be.  We created our roles based on our outward experiences and influences.  So if we did it once, why can’t we do it again?  I mean, come on – if a baby can do it, why can’t we, as adults, do the same thing?

The challenge is that most adults are very attached to “who they are.”  If you ask some adults to step outside this perceived identity, they often say, “Oh, but that’s not me.”  Or “I’m never been good at that.”

We’re so identified with our learned personalities that it seems outrageous to change or even to just give change a chance.  Oftentimes it takes losing it all – your job, relationship and possessions — and coming to what seems to be the end of the world before we even consider stepping out and recreating ourselves.  Let’s face it, it’s much easier to create something from nothing, than to throw out everything you once believed of yourself and start fresh.  It’s the throwing out that is the scariest.  It’s the jumping without knowing there’s a net that gives us nightmares.  But I’m saying, take a moment and ponder – Why wait to lose everything?  How would you recreate yourSELF NOW?

Of course, change starts from within, as “outer experience is a reflection of inner reality.” It’s important to first identify any irrational beliefs you’ve had about yourself, heal them, and reframe who you are — a divine being have a human experience who is loved, supported and worthy — in order to recreate yourSELF.   I used to judge myself as shy, unfunny and invisible — someone who should be the good girl and sit at the back of the class and remain “unseen.”   So I identified these irrational beliefs, healed and reframed them from the inside.  Seriously, what good am I to the world if I’m hiding in the back of my life?

This weekend I’m performing my first stand-up comedy routine.  I’m stepping out onto the edge of what I used to think of myself.  I’m declaring mySELF done with the “outdated” definition of my experience and creating a new confident, SELF-accepting, SELF-loving version of mySELF.   No more hiding in the back of the class.  No more hiding in the back of my life.

I must admit, I’m terrified.  What if I forget my lines and just stand there frozen, terrified, starring blindly into the crowd, sweat pouring from my armpits, my heart pounding out of my chest?  Or worse, what if I faint and fall off the stage?  What if no one laughs???  Although, I’m sure falling off the stage would create an abundance of hilarity – maybe I’ll try that…

Stepping into the unknown is always scary.  So I’m gonna feel the fear and do it anyway.  I’m gonna JUMP and pray that the net appears.  (Oh, please, dear God, please let the net be there!) I feel more supported and loved by friends, family and the Universe than ever before.  But mostly, I’m supporting mySELF in this endeavor, knowing that if I do fall down, I’ll just get back up, brush mySELF off, laugh, and get back onstage again.

So I ask you, if stood up, let go of all your previous beliefs of “who you are” and just trusted, how would you recreate your life?  You can be whoever who want to be, just let go, jump and trust that the net will appear.  The stage is YOURS!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

I recently heard an interesting story about two young men from the Midwest who were headed off to college in California.  They were both really excited about meeting all the hot So Cal women they’d heard so much about.  When they arrived at school, one of the young men looked around and couldn’t believe his eyes.  The women really were beautiful!  The other young man, who lived in a separate dorm room, didn’t see what the big deal was.  He didn’t find any of the women remotely attractive.  The first man who thought the women were beautiful didn’t understand.  How could his friend be so blind?  Then one day, he visited his friend in his dorm room.  Plastered on the walls were pages and pages of Playboy centerfolds.  Beautiful “airbrushed” women.  “Now, these women are beautiful,” his friend exclaimed.  Suddenly, it all became clear.

If this was the young man’s standard of what was beautiful, no actual, living, breathing woman could compete.  Because no actual, living, breathing woman can walk around “airbrushed.”

Studies have shown that if you show someone pictures of a beautiful “airbrushed” woman over and over again, their brain actually adjusts and begins to associate beauty with the airbrushed image.  Then if you show them picture of a non-airbrushed, real human being – even the most beautiful person on Earth – their brain will register that person as unattractive.  Now of course, there are other ways to be attracted to someone, other than sight, but “visually” they look less attractive.

When I heard this, it frightened me.  With all the botox, plastic surgery and whatever else is out there to “enhance” our beauty – what type of future are we headed toward?  A world where a normally beautiful person is perceived as ugly because our brains have been conditioned to see beauty as “plastic” and unreal? Are we actually conditioning ourselves to perceive “plastic” as beautiful?

Well, just when you thought that beautiful “image” of yourself was unattainable – because let’s face it – we’re not all cover models — you’re wrong.  You too can become a plastic version of yourself.  Yes, that’s right.  The average person can now airbrush their photos, just like they do in magazines.  I saw an ad for a company that does this for you.  They’ll adjust your nose, enhance your breasts, give you highlights – the works!  Why spend the money on surgery, when you can “fake yourself up” digitally for a bargain price?  Which is what a lot of people are doing on the dating websites by the way.  Don’t they realize they’re going to have to actually MEET the person at some point?

I could go into how I believe we’re being controlled by the media – aka large corporations, who want us to feel bad about ourselves so we’ll spend money on their products – but that’s another lecture.  My point here is, as spiritual beings having a human experience, aren’t we missing the point?

If the reason we incarnate to Earth is not only to learn to LOVE ourselves and others—but to EXPERIENCE all that this beautiful world has to offer, why are we making it so hard on ourselves?  Why the obsession with dieting?  Why the obsession with botox?  Why the obsession with how we look?   It’s almost impossible to love and accept ourselves when we’re comparing ourselves to fake, unattainable, unrealistic images of how we’re supposed to look.  And how can we experience the sensations of life, if we’re so worried about living up to someone else’s manufactured idea of beauty?

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t live healthy lives with diet and exercise, but I think it’s time to WAKE UP.  We’re being conditioned to the point that our brains can no longer see real beauty.  And even worse, in order to obtain an unrealistic version of ourselves, we’re depriving ourselves of the very experiences we came here for.   Like eating ice cream!  “Oh, no, there are too many calories in that.  I might gain an ounce.”  Or playing in the rain!  “What if someone sees me with wet hair?”  God forbid!  And worse, what if they take a picture?!  No problem. Just airbrush it.  And while you’re add it, fix those ears… Can you say, Dumbo? Oh, please!

I think this is a topic that many women have been discussing for a while now, but I don’t see it really changing much.  I still hear about women in their 20’s getting botox and teenagers begging for boob-jobs, and it really alarms me.   There are many organizations being formed to combat this problem, one by my dear friend, Amber Krzys who founded the bodyheart program that encourages and empowers women to love their bodies.  This gives me some hope.  But I think we still have a long way to go.  If this doesn’t stop, before you know it, everyone will have to be “botoxed out” just to look “normal.”  And frankly, I’m afraid of needles…  So come on, let’s learn to LOVE ourselves NOW for who we are and stop this downward spiral into the abyss of Plasticville!  I don’t want to have to go under the knife.  But don’t do it for me– do it for yourSELF!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

For more information on Amber’s bodyheart program, please go to http://bodyheart.com/

As I sat in the elegant dining room of a professional matchmaker, leafing through photos of men who “might be perfect for me” I couldn’t help but think: Am I really ready for a new relationship?  Intellectually, I said “yes!” bring it on.  I deserve happiness.  I deserve to have a partner to travel with through this complicated, winding road of life.

But listening to the matchmaker go on and on about this guy and that guy, I couldn’t help but notice my stomach doing flip-flops.  I wanted to run away. “Nope.  I changed me mind.  I’m NOT ready for this.  I can’t do this.”

But wait a minute– this is what I wanted.  This is what I keep talking about.  This is what I’ve been asking for– the perfect relationship with a man who will love and support me.  So why does the idea of it make me want to throw up?  What is wrong with me?

The answer of course is: nothing is wrong with me.  But getting into a real, healthy relationship seemed foreign to me.   It took me out of my comfort zone. Frankly, it scared the crap out of me.  I was USED to being alone.  I had gotten comfortable with my loneliness.  I had gotten comfortable with my freedom, my space, my life ALONE.  What would happen if all my dreams came true and I actually GOT what I was asking for?  Which begs the real question…

Are we afraid to manifest the very things we ask for?

After speaking to others about this, there seems to be a theme here– and when you break it down to the core, the underlying feeling is FEAR.

What if I achieved all the success I’ve been working towards, landed my dream job, found the perfect mate—what would happen to my life?  Believe it or not, these fears actually inhibit us from achieving success.

Many of us stay in jobs or relationships way past their expiration date for fear of what’s on the other side.  So while we beg the Universe to send us something better – we cling to the “comfortable” even if the comfortable is keeping us stuck or even worse, killing us inside.

It’s important to remember that as you grow both emotionally and spiritually, your old job or relationship may not vibrationally match you anymore. You may have learned all the lessons you were supposed to learn with that relationship or job and it’s time to learn new lessons.  As you continue to raise your vibration, you attract events, relationships, and jobs that are on the same vibration as you.  For example: you may have chosen a job solely for the purpose of making money and felt okay with the ethics of the company who employed you.  But maybe now you want to follow your heart’s desire and commit to a career of service.  Because of this shift, your old job may not vibrationally match you anymore.  That’s not to say that your previous intentions were bad or wrong – they just aren’t in alignment with who you are today.  Therefore, a change is needed.  And with change, oftentimes the big, bad, scary FEAR rears its ugly head.

But it’s not just fear of change that holds us back.  Oftentimes it’s fear of success. This idea used to sound crazy to me.  Who wouldn’t want success?  But when you break down what success really MEANS, it’s easier to understand why we might sabotage ourselves, keeping ourselves from actually achieving it.  With success comes more responsibility, time commitment, and oftentimes, leadership. The fear creeps in when we ask ourselves: What if I lose my freedom?  What if I’m not a good leader?  What if I fall on my face?  And in terms of a successful relationship: What if I lose my freedom, my space, or my identity?

But why can’t we have the perfect relationship or the perfect job WITHOUT losing ourselves – our freedom, our space?  I think we can have it all.  The key is in the asking for what we want and becoming a vibrational match to it.  If you want to manifest the perfect job that allows you freedom, live your life freely. Know how that feels.  Be that feeling.  Feel successful and free at the same time. There’s no law that says you have to lose your freedom in order to have success. But there is a law that says that like attracts like: The Law of Attraction.  The same goes for relationships.  If you want a certain type of partner, you have to BE the type of person you want to attract.  It’s really that simple.

So instead of sabotaging ourselves by moving into fear of change and what the future might bring, my suggestion is to VISUALIZE exactly how you want your future to look like.  But more importantly, how do you want it to FEEL?

Here’s what I like to do when fear takes a hold of me:

1. Take a quiet moment and connect within.   Take a few deep breaths.

2. Visualize yourself having what you want.  How does this make you feel?  Do you feel excited, fearful, ALIVE?  Now remember: fear, anxiety and excitement all feel very similar.  So if you’re feeling anxious or fearful, see if you can change that feeling to excitement.  This will shift you energetically and allow you to cut through the fear.

3. BREATH deeply and bring yourself back to the MOMENT.  Acknowledge that all is OKAY.

4. Now VISUALIZE how you want your future to look like.  Pay attention to how you feel.  Do you feel FREE?  Do you feel LOVE?  Do you feel EXCITED?  Take a few moments and connect the visual with the feeling.  This way, when you think about the vision throughout the day, a feeling will automatically be connected to it.  It’s the feeling that allows your dreams to manifest.

Now I challenge you to take a risk.  Do one thing that will move you closer to fulfilling a dream or making a big change — even if it scares you to death. Actually, the scarier the better.  Because the more we conquer our fears, the more we grow.

In honor of this, I’m going to sift through the pictures of available men, pick one out, take a leap and open my heart so wide it’ll create wings for me to fly.  Now it’s your turn!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

**This blog was published on www.ThePennyFriends.com on July 25, 2011**

I’ve declared this summer as the “Summer of Courage” and in honor of this I’ve decided to take a Stand-Up Comedy class, put on my first workshop and… the scariest of them all—sign up for a dating service.  You know, one of those elite services that set “busy professionals” up with each other.  I haven’t had any luck finding a man on my own, and I’m not a fan of on-line dating sites so I thought, “What do I have to lose?”

There was the initial consultation – What do you like to eat?  Do you ski? Rollerblade?  Hike?  I wasn’t sure how this criteria was going to help find my soulmate – but I went along with it.  Then it got personal: Age, Height, Weight… Bra Size?  Okay, I’m kidding on the bra size – but seriously, she may as well have asked me that!

I know things like age and weight are important in a “general sense” – but she was sitting right next to me.  She could see that I’m physically fit, of average height and my basic “round about” age.  Why does this exact information need to be imprinted on my permanent dating file??

I reluctantly gave her my dimensions – minus the bra size — and the moment I said I was 39, I could see her face drop.  “What?  Is there a problem?”  “No.  All good.  But when you recommend friends to our service, make sure they’re either your age or younger.  Definitely NOT older than you.”

OMG! When did I suddenly become “too old” to date?  Apparently 39 isn’t the new 29 – it’s the new “you’re too old to date any eligible bachelors– especially is they want kids.  Because let’s face it – you’re all dried up and who wants that???”

Now I have a tendency to date older men.  My ex-husband (yes, I’m SO old I have an EX-husband) was 12 years older than me, so I’m used to being the “young one.”  Not anymore, I suddenly learned!  My question is: When did it become okay for men to pass on women 12 years younger and move on down to 22 years younger?  Who are these men and more importantly, who do they think they are?

This experience got me thinking about age in general.  In terms of the soul – we’re all ageless, timeless, spiritual beings “visiting” Earth to learn our lessons. As our bodies “age,” assuming we are learning the lessons our soul set out to learn in this lifetime, our souls only get wiser.  So if this is true – and like a fine wine, we only get better with age, why is our culture so obsessed with the fountain of youth?

My guess is that as we age, we like to surround ourselves with young people because they make us “feel” younger.   But if we’re so obsessed with appearances and we search for our mate using this criteria — then we’re searching for a mate using our ego – not our authentic self.  It’s no wonder there are so many ill-matched relationships out there!

The dating service girl asked me to search through a bunch of photos like I was picking out lawn furniture.  I can’t pick my soulmate out of catalogue!  “Oh, wait.  He’s cute—but he’s 40 and 5’10”.  Sorry, I only date guys exactly my age and not shorter than six feet.”  Come on!

Even though I wanted to run out of her office screaming — for more reasons than I can say — I decided to stick it out.  I told her to pick some guys that she thought I would like (God help me!) and we’d go from there.  Then I said a prayer to my angels and spirit guides to make her pick the right guy for me.  There – let the Universe be my matchmaker — with the help of a dating service, of course.

As I left the office, I couldn’t help but wonder… What happens if I haven’t been “matched” up before I turn 40 in six months?  Is she gonna show me the door, hand me my AARP card and say, “Thanks for playin’.  Game over, old lady!” I’ll have you know, Miss Young Thang—that my last serious boyfriend was 13 years younger than me and he certainly did not have a problem with my age.  Of course, I was labeled a “cougar.”  I think old men came up with that term to try to make us women feel bad about ourselves because they didn’t like us playing their game.”  Well, I say, game on!

As I got to my car, the dating service girl called out the window, “Can you email me a full body picture of you?  You have a nice figure, we should show it off!” We should show it off?  Oh, dear.  Let the “Summer of Courage” begin!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs

This weekend, as I watched “The Real Housewives,” (Oh, c’mon!  Don’t tell me you don’t watch it!!) I started thinking about how women treat each other.  Seeing these women interact gave me such anxiety that I wanted to turn it off and take a shower.  But I couldn’t.  I was glued to the TV.  It was like watching animals fornicate at the zoo.  Seriously!  You really don’t want to watch, but you can’t help yourself.  But I couldn’t help but think—Why do women treat each other with such disrespect?

Men treat each other with respect.  While men egg each other on and pat each other on the back, women throw eggs at each other and stab each other in the back.  Where’s our camaraderie?

In the recent past, the ratio of men to women on any given television writing staff was about 10:2.  And that was most likely because one of the women was a minority, meaning her salary was paid for by the Studio.  “You mean we can hired a Latina and check off the minority and woman box?!  Perfect!”  Now, this is changing and I’ve seen more women being hired for their talent – CRAZY! – and not just to fill a quota, but the truth is, for years in the entertainment industry women were considered untalented and “not funny.”  I actually worked for someone who said outright in a writer’s room where women were present – (the required 2.5 – one being an assistant) — that women can’t be funny and good-looking.  Not mentioning any names, but this little man could have (and has been) compared to a troll – so I guess his theory could work for men too.

And believe it or not, it’s been worse: I heard Jane Curtin tell Oprah how John Belushi used to literally sabotage sketches on Saturday Night Live that were written by women by intentionally performing them poorly at the table read.  This way, the sketches were sure to be thrown out.  Unbelievable—to most people. But not to me.  I’ve experienced this type of treatment.  I’m not bitter… I swear, dammit!

My point in telling you all this is because I feel that in my experience, the “system” has taught women that there are few jobs available for us and therefore we need to fight dirty to get them.  This system was set up long ago by men who were afraid we’d steal their jobs.  (No, not ALL men feel this way, I’m not saying that.  There are a lot of great men out there and we love you!)  Women bought into this theory of scarcity and instead of lending a hand and supporting each other to the top, we pushed, scratched and pulled each other’s hair to keep each other down.  (A cat fight?  Hmmm… Every man’s fantasy?!)

I’ve actually heard women say “Oh, SHE only got that job (or started that business, or got promoted) because her husband (funded it, supported her, got her the job).”  Or the other explanation I love is: “Who’d SHE sleep with?”  Even when we do succeed, somehow our successes are still credited to men.  It certainly couldn’t have been her talent and hard work that made her successful. What is it with this negativity, ladies?  Really?  We’re only hurting ourselves with such condescending attitudes toward each other.  And the men out there who are still trying to hold us back LOVE IT!  They’ll just let us fight it out, sabotage each other – and steal the prize when we’re not paying attention.

It’s time to WAKE UP!!!!!

It’s time for us women to bond together and support one another.  It’s time for us to get on the same menstrual cycle, raise our tampon-laden hands and free ourselves from the masculine chains that bound us for so many years.  (Now, that’s an image!) Only we can make this change.  There’s no reason to compete anymore.  There’s enough room for all of our talents.

Most importantly – the world needs us now.  As everyone can see, the world is in crisis. With our economic system breaking down, natural disasters happening faster than we can keep up, revolutions in the Mid-East – the world needs our innate nurturing to begin the healing process.  Our loving, nurturing energy is what can change the world for the better.  So, instead of channeling our energy into negative emotions like jealousy and competitiveness, I challenge all of us to come together in LOVE and SUPPORT of each other.  If not for our own personal empowerment, for the love of our divine mother Earth.   What do you say we start owning our power and start acting like self-respecting ladies?   I’m in!

Just for fun: let’s all take a moment to support at least one woman in achieving her dream this week.  Remember: the energy you put out comes back ten-fold.  So keep putting out the loving supportive vibes and see what happens!

With Love, For the highest good…

xo, Christy Jacobs